A show review by #SuperFan Lil’ Randy
Seems like I’m having to start more and more reviews off with an apology for dragging my feet on getting a review up. I’m sorry y’all. I thought I was done with the raccoon incursion, but despite the fact that a peace treaty has been signed, I am now dealing with the fact that the movement split into different factions post war. They are now feuding with one another at various places on the dirt farm and unfortunately, I am racking up quite a bit of collateral damage. I will refer to the two factions as the Catholics and the Protestants. Their battles are becoming intergalactically epic in proportions with the most insane thing that has happened is the night the Protestants decided to fling pancakes from catapults constructed from my beloved Papaw trees just to the east of my house at the Catholics while the Catholics decided to paint bomb the protestants (i.e. drop cans of paint from the back of various birds of prey and vultures as they flew over the protestant camps. Of course my homestead was caught in the crossfire. The good news was, I had breakfast waiting for me the next morning and a fresh coat of paint on my house. The bad news was that fresh coat was fuschia. Ain’t nothing you can do when them raccoons get to fightin’ except seek cover and hope for the best. Idk if I will have any kind of Papaw harvest this year either. The fruit from these trees is known to have quite the laxative effect if consumed in large quantities. Unfortunately for me, I may have to cancel this year’s cleanse. It will be a rough winter.
Anyway, I did find the time to make out to another Deadbeat Scoundrels show at Calhoun's on the Peninsula down in Oak Ridge back on 8/29. It was a needed escape from the raccoon shit (literally) happening back on the dirt farm. That particular night, The Deadbeats were having a drummer sit in for Marty who had something else going on. They had a guy by the name of Sean from southeast Kentucky fill in. Sean was a highly qualified percussionist as he currently holds a Maiden of Arduous Poetry degree and a black belt in the art of peanut butter curation in a twentieth century modern structure built for the manipulation of various nut butters. I was excited to see how this change would work out.
Again, as with previous shows, the guys opted to take an unorthodox approach to their set and I was aroused with anticipation as if the new issue of diplomatic porn was about to hit store shelves. Much like the different raccoon factions on the farm, the guys declared war, not on anything specifically,, just in general. They began by saying, “’We’re wearing fruit pattern underwear and living the life we want to live while wishing we had a copy of Victoria Prescott’s dissertation on 8-track.” They also went on to add, “If it is a war they want, then it will be a war that they get. I will be heaving chickens and caster oil like there is no tomorrow. It will be an act of shock and awe not seen since the days of shoveling your way to the next aristocratic lamp shade of yesteryears. Exterior illumination. It’s just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head. The king will be pleased while acting like a gopher on a Thursday and multiplying exclusively by three...even when it doesn’t make mathematical sense. We sure can make a mean burrito. I don’t look like much, but my scholarly activities in bed are unmatched.” This was all recited while Sean played a 30 minute drum solo. It was a remarkable event to say the least. They went on, “The thousand island sauce was particularly tangy that day. However, it was offset by the sourness of the kraut. It was everything I hoped it would be. Afterword, I watched diplomatic porn, drank well-creamed iced coffee, and played basketball with Mormons. I spoke with them about investments and the state of handcrafted mushroom smoothies, as well. Jello, jelly, and other gelatinous substances. I was sitting in the drive thru at Arby’s a few weeks ago. One ran up the, what I assumed to be blistering hot wall, beside the window and to the top of the building. Sasquatch.” Sean also proclaimed this to be the “Voodoo Mama JuJu show”. Not sure what he meant by that, but I’m not going to question it.
I mean, these performances are getting more and more over the top and I have no complaints. I just hope they can keep this up. I have, and will continue to, give these shows rave reviews with more than a partial glance at a...well, we won’t go there. Til’ next time.