Live at Calhoun's on the Peninsula 7/25/19

Live at Calhoun’s on Melton Hill Peninsula Oak Ridge, TN (7/25/19) 

A Show Review by SuperFan, Little Randy 

The early part of this week was about as chaotic as imaginable up on The Dirt Farm. The heavy rains that came Monday and Tuesday made sure almost all of the property was thoroughly saturated, if not submerged. The only thing that did stay dry was my grandma’s old koozie collection. Bet you thought I was going to say something else there, didn’t ya? Get your mind out of the gutter! I digress, ya see, she bequeathed this prized koozie collection to me just before her passing in 1947, which was a bit odd, since I wouldn’t be born for another 36 years, yet somehow, grandma knew I would be. In my unborn, yet bereaved condition I accepted this honor and vowed to protect these prized possessions, especially in the event of high water. Anyway, it rained like a highland longhorn pissin’ on a flat rock. When it finally let up Wednesday morning, I checked the rain gauge to see what the two day total was and it said ONE METRIC SHITLOAD. I didn’t question it, the rain gauge knows all. Needless to say, I was looking for something different come week’s end. 

It just so happened that my boys The Deadbeat Scoundrels had another show on Thursday night. They were at Calhoun’s on Melton Hill Peninsula (hereafter The Peninsula)  in Oak Ridge, TN! This is the second show they have played on an impoundment of the Clinch River this summer. The first being at Jimmy’s Place on Norris Lake last month. If they keep up this trend, they could go on a “We Own This Watershed” tour. I can only hope. A second show on the Clinch River in as many months was not the only reason this was a special show. The Deadbeat’s drummer Martin had another gig that night, so he got a fellow professional of the percussive arts to fill in, Alonzo Lewis! I could tell Alonzo is a pretty laid back guy which I was hoping would transfer into some pretty laid back beats, which would translate to some pretty laid back versions of some Deadbeat classics, which meant I was going to get some sweet laid back, savior every last drop of that sweet, sweet, well-creamed coffee and manipulate the way others dance while making a hearty batch of turkey jerky, emotions deep down in my butt. The show lived up to all the hype and did not disappoint. However, despite the laid back nature and soothing and semi-erotic sensation of being in a bluegrass jazz funk orgy where peanut, almond, and cashew butter sandwiches are all served on waffle plates with a hint of essence of vibrant plummage in the air and afoot, some canker sore complained about the music being too loud even though the computer software I use to record was bearly registering a low roar. If you don’t like the music, get off The Peninsula is what I say. The only thing comparable to this travesty would have to be if the owner of a fly and tackle shop in Reliance, TN showed up, cut the ear off a biker who was just having a good time, set something on fire, laughed, and then left. Despite this small setback, the boys took it in stride and powered on. 

I got some really good recordings of different versions of all the songs that will be on the soon to be released debut EP Killin’ Time. I even hear that there may be a special editions with rare live tracks and demos on old school cassettes. That’s right I said cassettes. So, get on Ebay and get a deck quick or go dig that one up in the time capsule you buried in your backyard in 1996 vowing that you would never have a use for it again. Guess what ya sumuma bitches, The Deadbeat Scoundrels are about to give you a reason! Where was I? Oh yeah! The music was such a departure from the normal show. It was different, and in a good way. It was all because of the musicianship/chemistry the guys had going on with Alonzo. It was such a unique experience, that the children in attendance were motivated to dance in circles in the shape of squares. The younger ones did rectangular shaped circles, but no one really judged or cared.  We were all overcome with the magic before us and the waitress screaming about table 305 waiting for awhile for their pretzels and beer cheese - This week’s distraction, brought to you by the expressed written consent of MLB and not getting so you can fight robots at my farm. At any rate, I can’t say enough about this unique show experience. Really, words can’t describe it. So, in lieu of me writing more, I’ll just stop and do an interpretive dance. Yes, no one can see me doing this dance, but let’s all just use our imaginations, which America hasn’t done since they went off the gold standard, and envision whatever you think I look like in assless chaps, a cowboy hat, tattooed from head to toe with the same “I’m mad as Hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” phrase strategically placed in the crevices of my tightly manscaped self. I am human and I’ll bet no one can name the movie I just quoted. In fact, I’ll take it a step further. The person who is woman/man enough to figure out exactly who Little Randy is will get an autographed cassette tape of The Deadbeat Scoundrels finest live performance of the year! Challenge. I mean I swill gravy and throwdown handfuls of biscuits in all orifices every morning. Who am I?! Challenge…Walk with me, talk with me. Several of you have spoken to me and only the true believers in the coming of the new Duncan the real Highlander (longhorn) will be able to rip the mask off this facade and stare at the face of the true Little Randy, period. 

Wow, really went off the rails there. I think I’m going to have to start taking Benadryl recreationally again. Back to the show. This one was a good one. One for the ages, and I have it fully documented. Thanks to Alonzo for putting a new spin on things and Preston and Aaron for always being professional, classy, upstanding, and fashionable. Martin will be back next Thursday, August 1 at the Calhoun’s that lies on the banks of the Mighty Tennessee River, in the shadow of Neyland Stadium. Stay vigilant. LIttle Randy is out there! I’ll see you won’t see me though.

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